Wild child

IDo you ever look at your children and think "thank God (insert child's name here) is the easy one? It's not that I don't love both my children equally.. I do! They both hold a special place my heart and are treasured equally in different ways. But my little boy who is now 2 can push my buttons like no other. He is a ball of energy and very high spirited. He doesn't slowly wind down.. he doesn't just have a bath than drift off to sleep. He's either full throttle or passed out on my rug.. there is no in between for him.

. he breaks ornaments, throws everything and anything, climbs and sits on my kitchen table while I'm in the potty, sits on his sister and yells 24/7. He takes up every once of energy and sanity I have because he is lots and lots of work and has to be watchhed every second for his own safety and his sisters.. lol but with all that being said he is the sweetest, cuddliest and is so much fun from his crazy dance moves to his wild imagination. But I can't help thinking how life would be if my daughter was also a high need child like him... and honestly I don't think I could handle it.. she can be fussy but nothing in campairison to him... my son runs and screams so loud constantly he has since the day he was born. When he was a baby we were actually scared to take him in public cause his hungry baby cry was like a dinosaur screech and would literally hurt your ears... as in my daughter would cry so whitely we could barely hear her over her brother she has always been a calm and peaceful spirit. But when the difference between them is most noticeable is bed time... with My son he needs a snack, milk, and cuddles till he falls asleep then you can move him from wherever he's crashed into his bed. So with my daughter on the other hand you just give her her nighttime bottle, put her in her crib with blanket , turn on her white noise machine and walk out.... she's down and out all on her own within 10 min.

And the most peaceful little sleeper I've ever seen.. sometimes I think I would chop off my left arm if my son would sleep as well as her... so as much as I love them both. I'm so thankful God has at least given me one easy going child instead of two raging terrors.. and on that note my son is jumping on my bed while yelling "sleep... wish me luck!!

Merry Christmas we're sweating our a$$e$ off

In case any of you don't know, my family and I live in Florida. Which means even though we are listening to songs of snowmen and frost.. We are actually hot as hell and sweating our asses off even during this chilly holiday time. At our house holiday time has been  crazy! My kids go back and forth trying to steal presents from around the tree.. but mostly go after ornaments... my son has already managed to decapitate 2 so far... even though we have a baby gate around the tree...

On top of that my son has also  decided he is terrified of bathes and will only take showers (some days neither) and my daughter is teething and going through a growth spurt at the same time... which means mommy is up every 2 hours all night and has left me feeling more like the grinch rather than a happy elf most days... To add on top of it Christmas is 3 days away and we still have a ton of gifts left to buy and even after we finally finish shopping and wrapping. I have to separate them into four different piles.... yup you heard me... not only do I have two kids under 2 but we also like to live our life to the max by shoving them in the car for 4 hours in one day and celebrate 4 Christmases in 36 hours. We're crazy I know. But I wouldn't have it any other way! We love our families so much that if the only way to see them all is to put ourselves in toddler car hell for 4 hours we will. But to add to this Christmas madness we don't even get a break from this heat. It's sooooo hot that when I walk out the door in my Christmas lularoe leggings my ass is sweating before I even get to my car (thank god they are patterned) but they are pretty cute and the only thing that makes me feel like an elf instead of grinch or krampus so I  deal with it. lol

See super cute right?
So in the midst of this heat our sweet niece came to visit from Michigan where it is of course snowing. And we decided to give her a week of Christmas she would never forget.. a beach day! Lol  we packed up what felt like 2 weeks worth of baby junk including, diapers,  clothes, sunscreen, toy, snacks, snacks, more snacks, a blanket to sit on at the beach (that ended up covered in sand anyway) anddd oh ya my kids lol  finally after the back end of my expedition was full to the max. we headed off on our adventure to the beach. Traffic is awful and took almost 2 hours for what's normally a 45 min drive.... then we remembered oh ya all the northerners are down here cause it's cold as the ice age up there.... after recollecting my husbands sanity and asking my niece to never repeat the colorful language she heard my husband yell out during our car ride... we packed up our arms and rolls wagon and walked down to the beach. We were there probably all of 5 min when my daughter decided she couldn't live another moment without food (the growth spurt and anger from teething) after getting her full and happy. I (as any good mom would do) started taking 500 pictures of my daughters first trip to the beach. Most of them turned out of her crying and attempting to crawl away from me but I got a couple good ones

This one is my favorite! Can you tell she's gonna be sassy just like me?

My son decided that even though he wouldn't even touch the chicken nuggets or fries we had bought him on the way to the beach that he was gonna chow down on one of the finer things in life... sand... 

he decided he liked it so much he would shovel it into his buckets to dump in his face and into his mouth.. why can't he use this much effort to clean his room?  Or at least just use this new dumping skill to drink out of one of the 35 sippy cups I have. but I got some sandy kisses so I'll take what I can get. The hubs built a sandcastle and played in the water with the kids while my son rolled around in the sand. I on the hand , sat on the blanket bouncing our fussy daughter in my lap for 4 hours..  After the fussing and getting all sweaty and sandy and sticky we decided to load our little butts back into the car for another dreadful ride home... 

after arriving home I got to give bathes, wash 5 pounds of laundry, make dinner, give another bath cause my son wouldn't let me wash his hair the first time, fold the 5 pounds of laundry. And pray someone would make an invention that makes sand instantly disappear from your floors and car... nope no magical object fell from the sky... just my broom waiting for me.. I think it was God telling me an invention already exists I just had to get off my butt and use it... but hey! At least my kids were exhausted and went to sleep early tonight so mommy could have a much needed glass of wine! Gotta love Christmas from sweaty Florida and idiots who think they can go on adventures with babies and toddlers like me lol 

Actual toddler madness

So if you ever decide "let's try to have a baby" try to remember that they don't just stay as babies... when you sign up to be a parent you are there for all the stages: the cute, cuddly, ugly, messy, loving, grossness, and just plain crazy. I always knew I wanted to be a mom. All I ever  wanted in life was to have two beautiful babies and stay home with them. I couldn't be more thankful that the Lord and my husband have given me that gift to live my dream with these beautiful little beings everyday. But I can't help but wonder if teenagers saw raw parenting.. if I could just document a day like today so they could see how difficult it really was if there would be less teen pregnancies and abortions just out of pure fear.. with that said let me explain my day that would cause this fear.. ever know how it feels to not pee for hours and hours? I do...  our sink and the tooth brush drawer is right next to the bathroom door.. and my son,  (who is obsessed with brushing his teeth) decided to grab his tooth brush and leave the bathroom. Closing the tooth brush drawer just enough that the door would close but somehow leaving it open just enough that the bathroom door would not open... so I had the pleasure  of working with it for over 30 min.. then finally giving up and waiting UNTIL MY HUSBAND GOT OFF WORK when he could finally fix it with a metal hanger.. now I know you most be thinking "ya that sucks but not too bad" well that my friend is just the beginning of the day. The best is yet to come.  So us parents being sneaky and resourceful like we are, have to come up with distracting games or ideas so our toddlers will play alone while we can finally get something done! So I had the glorious idea of opening my sons toy chest to keep him busy in his room while I sweep and mop the house. So I go check on him, he's sitting on the floor playing with his dinosaurs like an angel. I immediately rush off to the dining room to start sweeping the food covered floor from lunch... we have a relatively small dining room so it took probably all of 2 minutes... I go to check on my son and he's gone.. not in his room... not in his sisters room.. I suddenly notice the bathroom door standing open... I found my son standing elbows deep playing in toilet water.... which he so graciously also filled with  toilet paper to... yes it's moments like these I think no one really realizes what they are getting into when they are in the hospital and handed that little white, blue and pink blanket filled with a still innocent tiny angel.. and again this happened in just TWO MINUTES. So after washing his hands probably 5 times and germ x on top of it while he screamed the whole time..  oh the joys of parenting... sometimes I just want to stop and call my parents to apologize for doing this to them at one point.. yup I definitely think stuff like this is what should be shown in sex Ed rather than explaining other useless information like how to put condoms on bananas like teenagers somehow don't understand where the thing is supposed to go.. But anyways, even though there are no instructions for how to raise kids and no one ever realizes what they are getting into until they are washing the toilet water off their toddlers hands.. it is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. As my son is laying on my lap asleep, cuddling my leg while watching cars for the 507th time. I couldn't be more thankful for this crazy adventurous and MESSY boy I have been given. And also extremely thankful his little sister cannot walk or crawl yet....

Just that kind of freaking day

So idk if anyone has one of those days as a parent where they just want to hide and drink a margarita (or just eat a whole batch of brownies) and continue to hide... Today is that day... I have a (almost) 2 year old that won't sleep if his life depended on it. He keeps me up till midnight then wakes up 4 times a night with night terrors... Which are not just regular nightmares in case you are blessed enough to not experience them.. they are more like watching a scary movie and your child is the star. As he is passed out asleep but shrieks, screams "no" , cries and throws himself around and sometimes off his bed.. It's awful and absolutely horrific as a parent to watch. There is nothing to make it better and I can't even touch him or his night terrors just get worse as if whatever is getting him is the one he thinks is touching him... So in efforts to help him we watch no adult movies or shows unless he's asleep... All Sesame Street and Thomas the train for us and let's just say it's a nightmare... Never have I seen a more ignorant character than Thomas... Who even gave him his own branch line? she can't even follow simple directions!  Also we all see his engine driver doesn't he at least have a brain to know if you set bees free in a flower garden they won't come back to you? Or that statues won't eat syrup and fish? Also that it's hard to believe he's somehow lost when I just watched his driver read a freaking map for 3 min... Anyway to add onto my experiences of my almost 2 year old starting to act like a 2 year old. We also have a 5 month old... And she will be the death of me... I've never seen a baby more fussy in my life ... She has two modes : sleeping or crying.. You can hold her, feed her, change her, bounce her, sing to her, play games, pacifier, tylonal.. Nothing... I think she honestly hates us.. She makes the constant background noise of fussing, crying or yelling... They say they grow out of stages quickly and one day you'll miss the long, crying and temper tantrum days like today... And though normally I love it.. Days like today  (as I just got bit by my son while typing this) hope they are right.. 

Christmas

Christmas is my favorite holiday I could leave the tree and lights up all year and still be just as excited the morning of. This year I got the giant blessing of spending it with Mr B and now that he is over a year it was so much fun! Being a parent on Christmas is even better than being a kid I couldn't sleep and I was up at 5:30 just staring at him waiting for him to wake up and enjoy his goodies.. Let's just say he didn't get the memo as 6:30 rolled around he finally decided to join me. Then since my husband is deployed and there is a huge time difference we had to wait even longer for daddy to skype to see all the presents. 

Deployment sucks but I can't imagine life before Skype it has become my new wingman. My son loves toys but will not open wrapped presents he hates ripping the paper and has decided that if it isn't in a bag where he can't take the paper out slowly then grab the toy and take it out he will wait for you to unwrap it. And refuses to unwrap it on his own.. Silly little goober. he also has a slight Elmo obsession and the second he saw the red fur of a tickle me Elmo in a package he dove in after it and sat in front of him smiling at it and dancing until breakfast. He knows the way to santas heart.. So we went from presents to Christmas pictures where my husband got to sit in front of his laptop smiling like an idiot for a good 15 min so he could be in all our family pictures. Not so fun for him but I'm glad he did it 

Next was lunch (Bradley's favorite time of any day) especially on holidays I call him my stuffin muffin if he was allowed to he would probably live off stuffing. Which is of course the food that makes the biggest mess ever.. Those little piece get in his hair, down his back, in his diaper legs and toes. Anywhere and everywhere is stuffing I don't know how he does it.. He finally took a nap and we started cleaning up the giant mound of trash. Then I just sat in the bathroom and cried... I can't help it deployment sucks and I wish more than anything my husband could have been here to see our son experience all these exciting things.. But then you think about all the families in the same boat as you and pull yourself together after all it's a heck of a lot worse for my husband who's gone in the middle of no where just sitting in front of a laptop all day... After packing up we headed home to play with our toys yes our toys. I got the soda stream I have been drooling over for months and could not wait to rip it out and use it. My parents still spoil us what can I say :) . I ripped it out filled the cup with water, clicked it in and the thing exploded water like I have never seen before.. While covered in soda and now beyond frustrated I tried it again... Same thing. So I decided to dump the syrup into my super bubbly explovsive water and it explodes again.. I cried.. The kitchen and I were covered in soda and my husband was much better at setting up these things then I am.. So I had my dad come over and look at i.. He presses one button and makes the perfect soda... No explosions.. No tears.. No water spewing out of the machine.. Just a cup filled with soda.. Little fucker of a machine hated me! But it did make some pretty yummy stuff when done correctly! I tried again and finally got it! Feeling more proud then I ever I can honestly say I took way more pictures of my filled soda cup then I would like to admit but the stuff was pretty good 

Then I took my cup and curled up on the couch thanking my parents again and again while watching my son play with his toys and curling up with Elmo. The perfect end to the perfect day 

Santa's cookies

First off I will say that I am no where near a master chef my family makes fun of me because I burn almost everything I cook. Literally almost everything... it's a talent I swear. My husband is probably one of the few husbands actuallly appreciating his cafeteria food on the base honestly. But despite that I decided to make cookies with Mr B for Santa and try to start family traditions. Though by making cookies I mean I made cookies while wanting to throw the rolling pin across the room while he ate cookie dough 

Also the boxes lie to you.. My box of 45 cookies (while using the cookie cutters) only made 20.. But anyway I first tried to make candy canes but after 6 of them broke while being moved from the cookie cutting station to the cookie sheet (the little curvered and then bastards...) I moved on to a bigger and sturdier cookie shapes like trees, I vote all Christmas cookies should be trees easy to cut and easy to pick up and move. By the end of our cookie making session 18 out of 20 cookies are  trees.. I have a cooking gift I swear... But thankfully no cookies were burnt in the oven this time it truly was a Christmas miracle. As they went on to decorating I gave Mr B a cookie and some icing. He ate the cookie then cried at the red icing on his hand and freaked out. But he's a great cookie tester! I finished decorating the cookies they look slightly cute and slightly awful... Let's just say it's a good thing Santa doesn't bring you toys based on what your cookies look like... 

Ice in Florida

We got the chance to load up the van with my munchkin, future sister in law and grandparents to go to ICE at the Gaylord palms. I have been going for about 10 years but this was the first time taking my son and it was perfect.  like getting to experience it for the first time myself again through his eyes. We got there and the hotel is beautiful lights and trees in every corner while walking to the giant room decorated as a town for Christmas/ICE. We went over to the ICE section of the tiny town and then handed over our tickets. We put on our jackets and gloves while standing in line for our mandatory blue parkas and my son, Mr B started screaming like a crazy person, the loud high pitched, dog attracting scream. He hated the hat and mittens, my lord I have no idea how anyone up north dresses their toddlers like this daily cause it's exhausting. He screamed from the second the hat went on until we were both finally all suited up in our very fashionable blue parkas.

We went along the line further and got our picture taken and by then I was holding him and he was calmed down and interested in the decorations again. When we got inside its only 9 degrees but he loved it they opened the door and his eyes just opened as wide as ever and he was pointing and smiling at everything. He had a blast which is a giant relief considering how the mittens were originally going. Haha it's so beautiful in there they have ice sculptures of everything from Santa and reindeer to a full nativity scene made out of clear ice. It's breath taking every year my favorite Christmas tradition by far. now for me on the other hand they can say 9 degrees all day long but to this preggo lady holding a 25 pound infant in a giant jacket for over an hour I was pouring sweat! I literally took that ginormous Eskimo jacket off and my whole sweater underneath was soaked. So I was very happy to get out of the parka and change before moving on to the hotel. If you've never been to the Gaylord palms and you live in Florida. GO! It's amazing just the hotel has alligators, snakes, turtles, fish, a restaurant on a boat, events, performances and the food in wreckers is amazing! It's definitely worth the trip and parking fee. My little tot had so much fun in ICE looking at the gators he passed out before we even got to watch their Christmas show 

But a sleeping tot is a happy tot and a happy tot equals one very happy mommy. I wish more than anything my husband was here to share the experience of taking him for the first time and seeing his big eyes as we walked in the giant room of ice and colors. To see him smile and point all day like everything in there was the most exciting thing he had ever seen. But I'm also glad we decided to go and see it anyway. I wouldn't have survived through the day without my grandparents help carry, and push and smile. A perfect trip to say the least