Actual toddler madness

So if you ever decide "let's try to have a baby" try to remember that they don't just stay as babies... when you sign up to be a parent you are there for all the stages: the cute, cuddly, ugly, messy, loving, grossness, and just plain crazy. I always knew I wanted to be a mom. All I ever  wanted in life was to have two beautiful babies and stay home with them. I couldn't be more thankful that the Lord and my husband have given me that gift to live my dream with these beautiful little beings everyday. But I can't help but wonder if teenagers saw raw parenting.. if I could just document a day like today so they could see how difficult it really was if there would be less teen pregnancies and abortions just out of pure fear.. with that said let me explain my day that would cause this fear.. ever know how it feels to not pee for hours and hours? I do...  our sink and the tooth brush drawer is right next to the bathroom door.. and my son,  (who is obsessed with brushing his teeth) decided to grab his tooth brush and leave the bathroom. Closing the tooth brush drawer just enough that the door would close but somehow leaving it open just enough that the bathroom door would not open... so I had the pleasure  of working with it for over 30 min.. then finally giving up and waiting UNTIL MY HUSBAND GOT OFF WORK when he could finally fix it with a metal hanger.. now I know you most be thinking "ya that sucks but not too bad" well that my friend is just the beginning of the day. The best is yet to come.  So us parents being sneaky and resourceful like we are, have to come up with distracting games or ideas so our toddlers will play alone while we can finally get something done! So I had the glorious idea of opening my sons toy chest to keep him busy in his room while I sweep and mop the house. So I go check on him, he's sitting on the floor playing with his dinosaurs like an angel. I immediately rush off to the dining room to start sweeping the food covered floor from lunch... we have a relatively small dining room so it took probably all of 2 minutes... I go to check on my son and he's gone.. not in his room... not in his sisters room.. I suddenly notice the bathroom door standing open... I found my son standing elbows deep playing in toilet water.... which he so graciously also filled with  toilet paper to... yes it's moments like these I think no one really realizes what they are getting into when they are in the hospital and handed that little white, blue and pink blanket filled with a still innocent tiny angel.. and again this happened in just TWO MINUTES. So after washing his hands probably 5 times and germ x on top of it while he screamed the whole time..  oh the joys of parenting... sometimes I just want to stop and call my parents to apologize for doing this to them at one point.. yup I definitely think stuff like this is what should be shown in sex Ed rather than explaining other useless information like how to put condoms on bananas like teenagers somehow don't understand where the thing is supposed to go.. But anyways, even though there are no instructions for how to raise kids and no one ever realizes what they are getting into until they are washing the toilet water off their toddlers hands.. it is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. As my son is laying on my lap asleep, cuddling my leg while watching cars for the 507th time. I couldn't be more thankful for this crazy adventurous and MESSY boy I have been given. And also extremely thankful his little sister cannot walk or crawl yet....

Just that kind of freaking day

So idk if anyone has one of those days as a parent where they just want to hide and drink a margarita (or just eat a whole batch of brownies) and continue to hide... Today is that day... I have a (almost) 2 year old that won't sleep if his life depended on it. He keeps me up till midnight then wakes up 4 times a night with night terrors... Which are not just regular nightmares in case you are blessed enough to not experience them.. they are more like watching a scary movie and your child is the star. As he is passed out asleep but shrieks, screams "no" , cries and throws himself around and sometimes off his bed.. It's awful and absolutely horrific as a parent to watch. There is nothing to make it better and I can't even touch him or his night terrors just get worse as if whatever is getting him is the one he thinks is touching him... So in efforts to help him we watch no adult movies or shows unless he's asleep... All Sesame Street and Thomas the train for us and let's just say it's a nightmare... Never have I seen a more ignorant character than Thomas... Who even gave him his own branch line? she can't even follow simple directions!  Also we all see his engine driver doesn't he at least have a brain to know if you set bees free in a flower garden they won't come back to you? Or that statues won't eat syrup and fish? Also that it's hard to believe he's somehow lost when I just watched his driver read a freaking map for 3 min... Anyway to add onto my experiences of my almost 2 year old starting to act like a 2 year old. We also have a 5 month old... And she will be the death of me... I've never seen a baby more fussy in my life ... She has two modes : sleeping or crying.. You can hold her, feed her, change her, bounce her, sing to her, play games, pacifier, tylonal.. Nothing... I think she honestly hates us.. She makes the constant background noise of fussing, crying or yelling... They say they grow out of stages quickly and one day you'll miss the long, crying and temper tantrum days like today... And though normally I love it.. Days like today  (as I just got bit by my son while typing this) hope they are right.. 

Christmas

Christmas is my favorite holiday I could leave the tree and lights up all year and still be just as excited the morning of. This year I got the giant blessing of spending it with Mr B and now that he is over a year it was so much fun! Being a parent on Christmas is even better than being a kid I couldn't sleep and I was up at 5:30 just staring at him waiting for him to wake up and enjoy his goodies.. Let's just say he didn't get the memo as 6:30 rolled around he finally decided to join me. Then since my husband is deployed and there is a huge time difference we had to wait even longer for daddy to skype to see all the presents. 

Deployment sucks but I can't imagine life before Skype it has become my new wingman. My son loves toys but will not open wrapped presents he hates ripping the paper and has decided that if it isn't in a bag where he can't take the paper out slowly then grab the toy and take it out he will wait for you to unwrap it. And refuses to unwrap it on his own.. Silly little goober. he also has a slight Elmo obsession and the second he saw the red fur of a tickle me Elmo in a package he dove in after it and sat in front of him smiling at it and dancing until breakfast. He knows the way to santas heart.. So we went from presents to Christmas pictures where my husband got to sit in front of his laptop smiling like an idiot for a good 15 min so he could be in all our family pictures. Not so fun for him but I'm glad he did it 

Next was lunch (Bradley's favorite time of any day) especially on holidays I call him my stuffin muffin if he was allowed to he would probably live off stuffing. Which is of course the food that makes the biggest mess ever.. Those little piece get in his hair, down his back, in his diaper legs and toes. Anywhere and everywhere is stuffing I don't know how he does it.. He finally took a nap and we started cleaning up the giant mound of trash. Then I just sat in the bathroom and cried... I can't help it deployment sucks and I wish more than anything my husband could have been here to see our son experience all these exciting things.. But then you think about all the families in the same boat as you and pull yourself together after all it's a heck of a lot worse for my husband who's gone in the middle of no where just sitting in front of a laptop all day... After packing up we headed home to play with our toys yes our toys. I got the soda stream I have been drooling over for months and could not wait to rip it out and use it. My parents still spoil us what can I say :) . I ripped it out filled the cup with water, clicked it in and the thing exploded water like I have never seen before.. While covered in soda and now beyond frustrated I tried it again... Same thing. So I decided to dump the syrup into my super bubbly explovsive water and it explodes again.. I cried.. The kitchen and I were covered in soda and my husband was much better at setting up these things then I am.. So I had my dad come over and look at i.. He presses one button and makes the perfect soda... No explosions.. No tears.. No water spewing out of the machine.. Just a cup filled with soda.. Little fucker of a machine hated me! But it did make some pretty yummy stuff when done correctly! I tried again and finally got it! Feeling more proud then I ever I can honestly say I took way more pictures of my filled soda cup then I would like to admit but the stuff was pretty good 

Then I took my cup and curled up on the couch thanking my parents again and again while watching my son play with his toys and curling up with Elmo. The perfect end to the perfect day 

Santa's cookies

First off I will say that I am no where near a master chef my family makes fun of me because I burn almost everything I cook. Literally almost everything... it's a talent I swear. My husband is probably one of the few husbands actuallly appreciating his cafeteria food on the base honestly. But despite that I decided to make cookies with Mr B for Santa and try to start family traditions. Though by making cookies I mean I made cookies while wanting to throw the rolling pin across the room while he ate cookie dough 

Also the boxes lie to you.. My box of 45 cookies (while using the cookie cutters) only made 20.. But anyway I first tried to make candy canes but after 6 of them broke while being moved from the cookie cutting station to the cookie sheet (the little curvered and then bastards...) I moved on to a bigger and sturdier cookie shapes like trees, I vote all Christmas cookies should be trees easy to cut and easy to pick up and move. By the end of our cookie making session 18 out of 20 cookies are  trees.. I have a cooking gift I swear... But thankfully no cookies were burnt in the oven this time it truly was a Christmas miracle. As they went on to decorating I gave Mr B a cookie and some icing. He ate the cookie then cried at the red icing on his hand and freaked out. But he's a great cookie tester! I finished decorating the cookies they look slightly cute and slightly awful... Let's just say it's a good thing Santa doesn't bring you toys based on what your cookies look like... 

Ice in Florida

We got the chance to load up the van with my munchkin, future sister in law and grandparents to go to ICE at the Gaylord palms. I have been going for about 10 years but this was the first time taking my son and it was perfect.  like getting to experience it for the first time myself again through his eyes. We got there and the hotel is beautiful lights and trees in every corner while walking to the giant room decorated as a town for Christmas/ICE. We went over to the ICE section of the tiny town and then handed over our tickets. We put on our jackets and gloves while standing in line for our mandatory blue parkas and my son, Mr B started screaming like a crazy person, the loud high pitched, dog attracting scream. He hated the hat and mittens, my lord I have no idea how anyone up north dresses their toddlers like this daily cause it's exhausting. He screamed from the second the hat went on until we were both finally all suited up in our very fashionable blue parkas.

We went along the line further and got our picture taken and by then I was holding him and he was calmed down and interested in the decorations again. When we got inside its only 9 degrees but he loved it they opened the door and his eyes just opened as wide as ever and he was pointing and smiling at everything. He had a blast which is a giant relief considering how the mittens were originally going. Haha it's so beautiful in there they have ice sculptures of everything from Santa and reindeer to a full nativity scene made out of clear ice. It's breath taking every year my favorite Christmas tradition by far. now for me on the other hand they can say 9 degrees all day long but to this preggo lady holding a 25 pound infant in a giant jacket for over an hour I was pouring sweat! I literally took that ginormous Eskimo jacket off and my whole sweater underneath was soaked. So I was very happy to get out of the parka and change before moving on to the hotel. If you've never been to the Gaylord palms and you live in Florida. GO! It's amazing just the hotel has alligators, snakes, turtles, fish, a restaurant on a boat, events, performances and the food in wreckers is amazing! It's definitely worth the trip and parking fee. My little tot had so much fun in ICE looking at the gators he passed out before we even got to watch their Christmas show 

But a sleeping tot is a happy tot and a happy tot equals one very happy mommy. I wish more than anything my husband was here to share the experience of taking him for the first time and seeing his big eyes as we walked in the giant room of ice and colors. To see him smile and point all day like everything in there was the most exciting thing he had ever seen. But I'm also glad we decided to go and see it anyway. I wouldn't have survived through the day without my grandparents help carry, and push and smile. A perfect trip to say the least 

Screaming sounds better at the beach

As a born and raised Florida girl nothing feels more like home than the beach. So we woke up early and packed up the family to take Mr B on his first trip to a lighthouse. We arrived at boca grande and found just what we needed for the day.. A golf cart! We signed our rental papers, got our keys and took off  (at a whooping 25 mph) driving through the beachy town there were little shops and artsy decor all around us. Featuring one of my favorite highlights of the day a pink old fashioned gas pump! I know, my standards for exciting things are a lot lower than the average American.

But while we were out and about we decided to stop to have lunch at a restaurant near the beach.. I don't know how your children act in restaurants but mine is the worst.. He can go from a sweet angel to an absolute terror within the short amount of time it takes to be seated at a table. You would think you were trying to feed the kid raw liver while sitting him on a high chair made of nails. As soon as you walk in the door it's as if he's contemplating just what to do to make you question your sanity and parenting skills all at the same time.. He normally settles for screaming with a scream so high pitched it can probably reach dogs in other cities. After trying to eat lunch we rode our little golf cart down to the beach where my son realized how much he loves sand.

Loves it so much that he decided to put it in his hair, eyes, mouth and somehow squish it into his poopy diaper.. Yes you read correctly a sandy poopy diaper.. Cause nothing makes for a better day then changing a shitty sandy diaper on the back of a golf cart ( no bathrooms of course). After getting cleaned up and smelling fresh we finally got the lighthouse. It was all decorated in Christmas lights and wreaths more beautiful than I imagined. I could have spent all day there just staring and watching the light spin around on the top. After picking my son up as he was now rolling around in the sand I dusted him off and went in the museum buying way too much visitor souvenirs to actually live in Florida. We stayed until dark then packed up our beach shells and shark tooth treasures and one very sandy toddler. He slept the whole way home which is the ultimate mom win getting to drive in perfect silence knowing your kid had a great day! After arriving home I sent my hubby more pictures then he probably ever needed while
trying to convince him when I die to toss my ashes at the lighthouse. Lol 

All about me

My husband and I decided to start a family very young.. Aka 18 years old young.. Now I'm the lucky mom of very spirited one year old Mr B. With another little one on the way and destined for arrival in a short 3 months. Oh and did I mention my son and my preggo self are also living with my parents for 10 months until my hubby comes home from deployment? Sounds like a piece of cake right? So here we go my crazy, messy, unfiltered life with the little toddler that runs my world.